Frequently asked questions
How does online counselling work, is it as good as being in the same room?
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(See also my intro video on the homepage) We meet on Zoom; I arrange the meeting at the time we agree and send you the link to join beforehand. Don't worry if you haven't used Zoom before because I have a simple, clear guide that I can send you. If you prefer not to use Zoom, I also offer telephone counselling. Online counselling has grown hugely since the Covid pandemic and there's growing research supporting its effectiveness in comparison with in-person work. This has been my experience, which is why I've chosen to practise solely online. Additionally, the ability to access it in your own home and not have to worry about travelling and parking make it a more comfortable and less stressful experience for you. Read less
How much is it? What times do you offer? How do I pay? Who do you work with?
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A 50 minute session costs £40, payable by bacs on the day of the session.
I work with adults
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Sessions are held at a time to suit us both and I am as flexible as I can be in order to fit in with your needs.
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What is your approach to counselling, what is a session like?
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First, I provide a safe, accepting space so that you can feel comfortable sharing your struggles. I will be completely with you. This means I will closely listen to you with warmth and openness in order that I can understand what things are like for you. It's like walking alongside you. Between us, a space opens up which enables you to experience and focus on what's going on for you from a new, broader, standpoint. For example, what the loss that you've had really means in your life. For most of us, when we grieve for someone or something, what we've lost embodies something much larger: a shared future, love in our life, security or certainty. Things that are fundamental to our lives. Finding the importance of whatever this is for you and how to adapt and incorporate it into your life will be a real and empowering step forward. I've worked with people who feel that, through their loss, they've lost a part of themselves. Through the work that we do together, you can explore that part in a new way and find a way forward that wasn't apparent before.
How will counselling help me with my bereavement and loss ?
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The pain of bereavement and loss is overwhelming and it can feel as if nothing could possibly help. If someone you love has died, how can anything help? Perhaps one of the greatest challenges you face is a loss of hope that you can ever feel any better than this. But coming to counselling provides an opportunity to address this head-on and find your way forward. People find that they are in a different place by the time they finish, and one in which they begin to see what hope looks like for them.
I'm nervous about starting therapy. Is that normal?
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It's totally normal to be nervous about starting counselling. It can be difficult to imagine how to form the words. Maybe you've experienced feeling tongue-tied when you've tried to open up to friends in the past. The fear around that can feel overwhelming and it takes courage to take steps towards the help you need. Therapy is that rare space where you can be yourself and feel safe from judgement for however you are, including being nervous.
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How do I know if you're the right counsellor for me?
Take your time to read through my website. If you sense that I might be a good fit for you based on what you're reading, please contact me. If you want to know more you can then ask me what a typical session with me is like, ask more about how I work as a counsellor, or any other question you have that is specific to you. You'll also be able to share what's going on for you and we can decide together how I can help. It may be helpful to think of the first sessions as us trying out the water together and where you'll start seeing what it's like. What's important is that you find someone who is a good fit for you.
What if I don't want to talk about something, do I 'have to' ?
It's common to experience something as too difficult to say. It can often feel hard to say difficult things and sometimes the things that are weighed down in this way are the things that we most need to say. During our sessions, it will always be up to you to decide if you feel ready to talk about something, or not. It's my job to give you space to safely work through the tough stuff. This includes hearing you and being with you if you feel or express nervousness. Gradually, and at a pace to suit you, you can share what you feel ready to share. Whatever is present for you, whatever you are going through, you bring it at your own pace and when you do, we can explore it together.
I'm so scared of feeling weak for opening up about this, does coming to counselling mean I'm weak ?
I know from being a counselling client myself how daunting it can be at the start. I know it takes courage. I've included this one because so many of us have this fear, even if it’s only at the back of our mind. In fact, this inner judging that we all do can really get in our way. Counselling helps you work with finding what in your life is worth having, and what isn’t. I know we all suffer in different ways. We may have normal reactions to abnormally challenging experiences, we are human trying to keep going. Whatever you're going through, I provide a safe space where you can feel heard and supported without judgement
Does what we talk about in counselling remain confidential?
You might already know that you want to talk about sensitive things, or be aware that sensitive issues may come up for you. Obviously, you don't want anyone to find out what you said. So it's important for you to know that, unless it involves danger or harm to you or to anyone else, everything you share with me remains confidential. Your privacy and trust are of the utmost importance and you can rest assured that you can talk about anything without fear. If you have any specific questions about how confidentiality works, you can ask during your free phone consultation, or by email.
How long will therapy take ?
You might be asking this because you are currently struggling and want relief fast, which is really understandable. The total length of therapy varies from person to person. Some people find that by the time they've had a few sessions, they've given themselves enough space for a shift in their sense and understanding of their world, what has happened and how to move forward. Other people feel more supported by longer term counselling. We will work together to find the length of time that works for you.
What can I expect during the first session ?
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Think of our first session as the opening and start of the conversation between us. We start getting to know each other and looking at the challenges that have brought you to counselling, including what has happened. The most important part of the first session is that you see if I'm a good fit for you and if you'd like to continue with further sessions.
Do you only work with people who have lost a person ?
This is such a good question and no, it is not solely for people bereaved by the death of loved ones. Any loss which feels significant entails a changed world for us. The loss can be of a relationship, for example, or of a role that has been important to us. Loss is something that arises in multiple forms throughout our lives, and these all impact each other. An important part of our work lies in exploring this.
My loss isn’t a ‘proper’ loss so I don’t think counselling will help…
This might seem an odd one, but actually it's really common to have mixed feelings about whether your feeling of loss is 'deserved', or not. Everyone's loss is specific to them, but sometimes there are really complicated factors, meaning you're not sure if you're entitled to call it loss at all. One way this can happen is if your loss is unacknowledged by, or unknown to, the people around you. Another way is if the person you've lost is someone with whom you had a bad or damaging relationship. In fact there are an infinite number of ways in which we might tell ourselves that we 'shouldn't' be feeling as we do. Self-judgement like this, whilst common, is painful and exhausting. It's also common for death to bring conflicts and old wounds to the fore. Counselling is an opportunity to free up inner conflicts and tangles.
If I haven't answered your particular question, or you want to talk further about whether counselling can help you. Please email or call and we can arrange a free 15 minute call to discuss your needs. Or, if you'd prefer, in order to book a first session.
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